Even though we fail daily, He is always happy for our return.
This morning during my morning meditation, I began to think about how I constantly fail in my efforts to be a better friend and servant to God. Even though I know God loves and accepts me as I am, I still feel like a failure in the expectations I put on MYSELF to be better than I am, for God. (Key message is that I put these expectations on me.)
This morning while thinking about some of my recent areas of failures, God reminded me that it is the fact that I continue to find and diligently seek Him, that makes Him happy. I was reminded of the prodigal son:
"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, ‘ Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate." -Luke 15:18-24 NIV
I think I may not be the only one that beats themselves up about setbacks in my journey of spiritual growth. However, I wanted to share this revelation, because 2 things I took away from this discussion with God this morning.
The expectations we are trying to live up to...they are our own expectations, or those of man. God knows who we are, and where we are in our spiritual growth. He accepts us as we are. We need to remember that we are not, nor can we ever be worthy of His love and His grace. It is that fact, that makes His love and grace that much sweeter. It is what encourages me to continue to want to be a better version of me for Him. I just need to remember that is my expectation not His.
He is always happy for our return. He is not exasperated or tired of your failures, because He already knows you better than you know yourself. So his patience in your journey is limitless. He isn't going anywhere. He will always be available to you when you find your way back. Just don't kill yourself in self-pity or your OWN impatience with yourself, that you forget that you can always come back, no matter how far off course you venture.
His love for us is boundless. Don't put your own limits on Him, and confuse them as His reality. He doesn't live or exist within the limits you put on Him, you do.